To celebrate National Adoption Awareness Month, Bethany Christian Services, Lifesong for Orphans ("Bringing Joy and Purpose to Orphans"), and Lifeline Children's Services.have unselfishly launched a new webpage, The Adoption Journey Project. a resource for couples "starting to think about adoption" aka reeling in more fish.
The November 30, 2011 Adoption Journey Project press release informs us that most adoption agency websites don't post information about adoption needed by new or thinking-about-it paps. Who knew? I've never seen an agency webpage that wasn't full of answers in search of questions.
From the Adoption Project press release:
"The vast majority of resources being published by adoption agencies and supporting organizations are for families that are either close to or have committed to the adoption process already," said Marc Andreas, Vice President of Marketing at Bethany Christian Services, the largest adoption agency in the country.
"We recognize that couples just starting to think about adoption have completely different perspectives and needs regarding the discernment process for adoption in their lives. This project will provide tangible resources to help support them and the beginning of their own adoption journey."
Among these resources is a creepy video under the "For Pastors & Ministry Leaders tab, featuring Tony Dungy, former head coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Indianapolis Colts (2007 Super Bowl champs ) and his wife Lauren, pimping the "orphan crisis" generic or branded. Also there, you'll find a download link for an Orphan Sunday kit. Since I doubt Bastard Nation would count as a ministry with these folks, I opted out.. Anyway, I already know quite a bit about Orphan Sunday, the "orphan crisis" ande the weepy orphan evangelizing projects operating out of churches and ministries. They hate UNICEF and Save the Children for trying to keep families and culture together and holding children "hostage" in their home country; thus thwarting God's work and the Great Commission. Adoption is their stairway to heaven--a lifelong job of "gospel proclamation"--and without it they may have to pass out blankets to the homeless or worst yet, mind their own business.
Among Dungy's comments:
...This picture is a vivid reminder of what God has done for us--adopting us into his family.
...God was calling us down this path so adoption became an act of obedience.
...We won't rest until the orphan crisis has ended.
...We as the church ca be the solution.
...Lauren tells us:
Because our church talked about it, adoption felt natural to Tony and me.
I guess we should be happy their church doesn't talk about arson or abstract expressionism.
Mr an Mrs. Dungy don't explain why if the orphan crisis is so out of control Bethany and every other adoption agency in the country continue to create more "orphans" by strip mining perfectly good mothers of their newborns. Isn't the point to decrease the orphan population, not increase it?
Maybe scarier is the page of adopter testimonials found toward the bottom of the front page. While a couple couples (and its always het couples-no singles or queers need apply; bi-racial is OK unless you belong to the Gulmare Freewill Baptist Church in Pike County, Kentucky) are as "normal" as the Bethany family can be, most range from disturbed to the bizarre. See, these people have no agency. God commands and they obey, whether they can afford a kid or have no desire to take a trip to AdoptionLand.. And those who have decided to take the journey, without asking God's approval first, are delighted when he high-fives them. Funny about that. God wants us all to adopt and be adopted. .
Meet the Hoffmans. Reading their story forces the Dear Reader to imagine a team of doctors having a have-at- it with the Mrs: as they discuss "God's fingerprint: on her physical body:"
Our plan was to start our biological family in 2005. But after over a year of trying and failing, we decided to visit the Emory Reproductive Center. After a few tests, we discovered that Laura had a unique fingerprint of God on her physical body: she had one kidney and half a uterus. The doctors, undeterred, kept telling us that “We can still get you pregnant.”
Then there's the Walters who stay overnight in a hospital suite and get prayed over by the hands of fussy staffers. We're not sure where Baby Ernie's bios get to stay, if they stay at all, since he was born in the back of a van in the hospital parking lot. Mr and Mrs. Ernie'sParents are too poor to keep him and trying to get the rest of their kids back from Children's Services:
There we were in a public hospital savoring the fellowship of believers. How could they know about our faith? It seemed that God was sending His servants to affirm His call upon our lives.
The Griswalds--sorry, I mean the McCollums-- parade around Hanoi with their acquisition strapped to them: No mention of friendly Vietnamese greetings, though we're sure they got them, just like Clark and Ellen did.
Finally there's the Robinson family gettin' down with adoptitude. Get thee behind me Satan!
I am sure that if both sets of my parents had been subjected to this crap (my natural mother adopted two kids 10 and 12 years after I was born and my natural father adopted his stepson), they'd both have cheerfully gone childfree.
Of all the reasons to adopt that I can think of, salvation isn't one of them. The idea, in fact, is downright insulting.
Many years ago I knew an LDA who learned he was adopted only when he decided to go into broadcasting, not the family auto parts business.
Why do you think we adopted you? Here's why. To take over the business.
The spin from our new breed of evangelical adopters:
Why do you think we adopted you? Here's why. To get into heaven. . And how would you feel, if you were an ill-behaved ungrateful bastard who'd taken an axe to their stairway to heaven?